Just complete my first one-day retreat from 6 June at BMBMC with Amy. We signed in on the 5th and ends on the morning 7th of June. BMBMC conducted a 10-day retreat under the auspicious guidance of Sayadaw U Ukkhamsa.
Since it is our first time going to retreat, we are very. enthusiatic with it. Happy and hoping to do a lot on the first day.
But alas, the mind is wonderful. What you want you do not necessarily get. So, what can I say, the retreat is suffering to me. Due to the huge amount of energy, I did not get enough sleep. This brought to a dull mind. So every time I try to do sitting meditation, what I get is dream. Yes dream is like watching tv in front of you. Pictures of dramatic scenario played in front of you before you know it.
Pain, whoa, teribble. It comes and it never goes away. With a dull mind, what can one observe but only to endure it. That too is too much for me. For a usual period of 30 to an hour sitting, I can only sit for not more than 15 minutes.
Good thing about this is that I learn something in walking mediation. I find that walking mediation to be interesting. Now I learn how to do walking meditation, at least the three stages one. It is by doing walking meditation that keep me going in this retreat.
Amy also find that sleepiness affected her meditation. Both of us are tired, fatigue and a lot of aching all over the body.
Sleep for almost 7 hours today, only to wake up to eat lunch. For a day of just sitting and walking, it looks like we had gone hiking for days. So who says meditating is easy. It never will but it is the way is we as Buddhists need to do.
Want to try again? Amy says she will think about it. Any way sadhu to both of us, now we had the experience of going to retreat. Sadhu, sadhu, sadhu
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