Be one's Refuge

Tonight Sayadaw U Vimala tells an interesting story based on the Dhammapada Commentary regarding being one's refuge.

In this story there is a Bhikkhu and his mother who is also a Bhikkhuni, both of whom eventually attained Magga-Phala

The mother was once a rich man's daughter who was married to a man. Without realising that she is pregnant, she managed to get her husband's permission to be ordained as a Bhikkhuni. Unfortunately, she was ordained in Devadatta's monastery. Her pregnancy resulted in her being expelled by the community of monks and nuns in Devadatta's monastery.

Without giving up her hope to be a Bhikkhuni, she proceed to Jetavana Monastery and after being examined by Visakkha, Ven Upali admitted the mother as a Bhikkhuni because her pregnancy had nothing to do with her breaking any rules.

Eventually she gave birth to a son, but with the baby in a nun's community being inappropriate, the baby boy was then adopted by King Pasenadi.

Seven years later, the boy asked about his parentage and after realising that he had been born in a monastery, he decided to be ordained as a Samanera Kumarakassapa.

He learn and practised diligently with the Lord Buddha as his teacher. His diligence even took him to Himalaya Mountain but to his despair, he did not gain any progress.

Seeing this, his friend from previous lives who is now a Brahma, came down to him and give him a set of 15 questions which Ven Kumarakassapa has to ask the Buddha for the answers.

With these questions as a guide, Ven Kumarakassapa succeeded in his quest to attained Magga Phalanyana

Meanwhile, the mother had been in grief for her affection toward her son in the monastery. One day, during the alms round in Savathi, both mother and son met each other.

The Bhikkhuni due to her affection to the son, called out to Ven Kumarakassapa and even hold on to the Venerable's robe and follow him around.

Seeing that his mother is overcome with affection for him, Ven Kumarakassapa decided to apprehend his mother harshly saying "It is wrong for a Bhikkhuni to be overwhelmed by affection to her son"
After repeating this many times, the Bhikkhuni realised that affection to her son is fruitless, that one has to strive for your own self. The mother became an arahant.

Sayadaw said that this story tells us to be a refuge to ourselves and not seek refuge from others. The mother like most parents hope that their children will be their refuge but sometime they can be disappointed.

Sayadaw said that our good deeds are our best refuge. Dana , Sila and Bhavana are our refuge. Lastly, Sayadaw said that we must also make an effort to seek out good teachers just like the mother who without giving out when being expelled by Devadatta seek to be ordained by the Buddha.

May you be well and happy always